Wade in the Waters

No matter how reverent or raucous Christmastime can be for families, few relatives have the power to steal the spotlight during the holidays like the crazy uncle. Hairspray and Cry-Baby director John Waters gladly relishes this role with A John Waters Christmas, his one-man stand-up comedy show arriving in Baton Rouge at the Manship Theatre for one night only on Dec. 9.

You once told David Letterman, “Life is nothing if you’re not obsessed.” What are you currently obsessed with?

I think I’m obsessed with Christmas, but obsessed in a good way. I understand all the pressures that come with it. There’s financial pressure, pressure from family and all the expectations.

What are your earliest memories of Christmas as a child?

My earliest memory was the Christmas tree falling over on my grandma. I turned that into a scene in Female Trouble, but we exaggerated it a little bit. She didn’t have to go to the hospital. She was all right. Since the movie, though, several people have told me they have memories of their trees falling over. Something about things going terribly wrong during the holidays is funny to me.

Any Christmas traditions you find particularly quirky or odd?

The live nativities I think are strange. I like nativities, but propping up children in robes next to live camels and mules is pretty odd.

What would your ideal holiday party include?

Well, I do host an annual Christmas party. It’s a great chance to see friends I don’t see often and to have a few movie stars over and the governor [of Maryland]. But everyone is treated equally; that’s the fun.

Does Johnny Depp attend?

He came the year we made the movie (Cry-Baby), but the last time I saw him was not long ago when we had dinner together in L.A. He’s lovely and always down to earth for someone who is such a global star now. He’s had an amazing career. We still email each other.

Let’s talk about your mustache. It’s quite the signature look you have going.

I’ve had it since I was 19, so long now I don’t realize I have it anymore. I’ll always have it, unless I go to prison and they make me shave it, or I commit a crime and have to go underground.

Let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Well, you know, it never hurts to have another career.

You’ve also been a journalist with an eye for obscure stories. As a Baltimore resident, what is your take on Edgar Allan Poe?

That’s a good question. He was a drug addict and a drunk, so of course Baltimore celebrates him. Everyone from here that gets some celebrity has something a little off about them: Frank Zappa, Barry Levinson, me. Our color in Baltimore is tarnished. I’m happy Poe lived here, but I am glad he’s not living next door.

Ever watch The Wire? David Simon is a Louisiana guy now with Treme.

Of course! I married David and his wife. I love them and The Wire. Everyone in Baltimore worked on that show. And everyone loves it except for the local politicians. Just like the New Jersey governor, I’m sure, doesn’t like Jersey Shore.