Indiana Jones and the Quest for Propecia

In theaters Friday: Happily N’ever After, Freedom Writers, Home of the Brave and Code Name: The Cleaner

New on DVD: The Covenant and Snakes on a Plane

Happy New Year everybody! And with the New Year comes a brand new feature at The Movie Filter: Celebrity Birthdays. This week we celebrate the birth of Kate Bosworth, born Jan. 2, 1983. Happy Birthday, Katie! You’re pretty and successful—it’s true. But this new bag of bones look probably scares the children. If playing a surfer is the only thing that will convince you to eat dinner then let’s make Blue Crush 2 a lifesaver. What d’ya say?

This just might be the first week that the Filter can’t recommend you see anything that’s new in theaters or on DVD. I mean, look at the list above. Yeah, I’ll see you there. But if I’m a little late, go ‘head in without me.

Poor Hilary Swank, too. What is it with Oscar-winning actresses falling so far from grace? Can’t they sustain good roles after winning a trophy? Freedom Writers looks like the same clichčd white-teacher-descends-into-the-‘hood-and-solves-everyones-racial-problems-with-poetry melodrama that Hollywood feels compelled to trot out just about every year.

Word is that Johnny Depp has been asked to play Freddie Mercury in a new biopic about the Queen singer. For my money Depp can play just about anyone. I can even picture him with the long, well-groomed locks of the early Queen years and the close shave and mustache look Mercury had going in the early ‘80s. And, Depp will probably do it too, because you know the dramatic AIDS-induced end to Mercury’s life could earn him major Oscar points. But can Captain Jack sing? Dude had a four-octave range.

Now, I’ve said both positive and negative things about All The King’s Men in the last 4-5 months since I saw the premiere. And, honestly I still think the film has some redeeming qualities. Ultimately, though, a poor screenplay that adapted Robert Penn Warren’s genius novel into something plodding and somewhat hollow hampers the film. Without a solid screenplay, Sean Penn can act and flail and seethe convincingly all he wants, and it’s not going to make the movie any better. Well, CNN released its list of the biggest bombs of 2006, and looky there, All The King’s Men is right at the top. That said, if you haven’t seen the movie yet, for anyone from Louisiana, it is worth renting.

Smokin’ Aces opens Jan. 26, and it’s the one dumb shoot ‘em up action comedy I’m really looking forward to seeing this year. Here is writer/director Joe Carnahan’s blog for the movie.

Here is the trailer for Fast Track. No, it’s not the new Zach Braff joint, for those holding their breath or still crying over The Last Kiss. The Scrubs star is in it, but the usually brilliant Jason Bateman and Amanda Peet co-star. Plus they get help from Paul Rudd, Fred Armisen and Charles Grodin. Nice cast.

And finally, for those who missed the Rose Bowl on Monday, George Lucas served as Grand Marshal of the Tournament of Roses (whatever that means). Anyway, beside tossing the coin before kickoff, a duty I thought Lucas would have had his computer-generated double perform via holographic green screen, the director was interviewed and said that a forth Indiana Jones movie would begin filming in 2007 and be released in 2008. I’m really dubious of this claim. Why? Because it’s the same thing I’ve heard since I was 10 years old and The Last Crusade ended its theatrical run. Will Lucas, Spielberg and Ford ever agree on a script and shoot this movie? I doubt it. And you know what? Ford is older now than Sean Connery was when he played Indy’s dad! Who wants to see a 60-plus-year-old archaeologist hobbling around after Nazis? Maybe it’s time to put away the hat and the whip. To paraphrase Dr. Jones himself, “It belongs in a museum!”