Hey girl, we’re on a break

In theaters Friday: Evil Dead, The Company You Keep, Trance

On Blu-ray Tuesday: John Dies at the End

First he was on an indefinite acting hiatus, then there was The Gosline to get shocked-and-awed fans through this apparently trying time, and now comes the big, apologetic clarification from the Canadian himself. Relax ladies, Internet meme/actor Ryan Gosling is only taking a break from the screen temporarily so he can focus on directing his feature debut: How to Catch a Monster.

So, basically, he’s pulling a Robert Redford. Another class move by The Gos. Ben Affleck should do the same thing, because everyone in America seems to know something Mr. Argo doesn’t: his directing skills are outpacing his acting skills at a considerable clip—as in, please consider retiring from acting, Ben.

Maybe it was the critical thud that greeted January’s misguided Gangster Squad or the fact that this disappointment is just one of four films he has slated for 2013, but Gosling seems genuinely tired of seeing his face on movie screens. Fans who agree to disagree will have plenty of him to take in, of course, before the effects of his self-imposed celluloid bailout sweep movie theaters and broken hearts nationwide.

If you’re in a major market, you can catch him as a tattooed stunt motocross rider-turned-bank robber in auteur Derek Cianfrance’s just-released crime epic The Place Beyond the Pines (pictured). Sorry B.R. This summer he’ll be beaten into pulp in Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn’s revenge thriller Only God Forgives. Finally, and most mysteriously, is Gosling’s role in Terrence Malick’s still-untitled love triad set in the middle of the Austin music scene and, barring any editing room shenanigan’s Malick is known for, featuring a stunning array of actors from Natalie Portman and Christian Bale, to Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara and Michael Fassbender.

If Gosling is halting this streak of working with Cianfrance (Blue Valentine), Refn (Bronson) and Malick (Tree of Life), it must be for an excellent reason. So, what’s the gin on How to Catch a Monster? First, Gosling is not only directing, but he wrote the original screenplay as well. The film, set to drop next spring, stars Gosling’s Pines co-star and real-life girlfriend Eva Mendes as a single mother dragged into a seedy world of violent crime while her teenage son discovers a strange underwater world. If that sounds at all odd, it is. But this combination of crime thriller and fantasy adventure somehow fits the introverted and magic-obsessed(http://brettmartin.org/2011/01/ryan-gosling/) Gosling like a glove. Monster will co-star The Host‘s Saoirse Ronan and Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks—who appeared opposite Gosling in Drive—and is set to drop in 2014.

Still think Gosling isn’t a quirky dude? Watch this clip from Conan: