Alvarez cuts to the chase

Jairo Alvarez wrote the book on moving to the United States and achieving the “American dream.” Literally.

His autobiography, No Such Thing As Impossible: From Adversity to Triumph, is at turns refreshingly poignant and incredibly revealing about the psyche and soul of a struggling immigrant. In the 70 years documented in his eye-opening memoir, Alvarez has been a farmer, a champion cyclist, a military captain, a hospital janitor, a business school student and finally a successful real estate developer.

But the Colombian immigrant’s first venture in Baton Rouge was Umbrella’s Yogurt and Ice Cream Parlor, which he opened in 1984 on Gardere Lane. Here is an excerpt from the book detailing one of his rougher nights minding the store:

“That will be two dollars and thirteen cents,” I said.

“Why you rang it up?” he yelled rudely. “You’re supposed to give it to me.” He had a defiant look in his eyes that told me I was in trouble.

“I’ll give it to you,” I yelled back, pulling my machete from under the register and slamming it down on the counter. Papacito had brought it to me, along with one of his sharp hoes to use in my vegetable garden. …I had brought the machete to work with me because I knew the area was becoming dangerous. After the closing of [Jimmy Swaggart’s] college, a rougher element had moved in. Papacito had bought me the machete when I was a small child, and like the bicycle had become an extension of my legs, the machete had become an extension of my arms. I watched the young man run from the shop and sent a silent message of thanks to my father.