The Romantics doesn’t woo

In theaters Friday: Drive Angry 3D, Hall Pass

New on DVD/Blu-ray: Due Date, Fish Tank, Get Low

There’s a dumbfounding moment in the middle of the new twentysomething life crisis wedding dramedy The Romantics when star Katie Holmes finally gets revved up about her impulsive ex-boyfriend marrying her wealthy college roommate and goes off on him about his mistake. This moment should be unhinged—er, unbridled, I should say—a real acidic outpouring of angst and heartache. Instead, Holmes’ dialogue feels too smartly calculated by half, and suddenly the lapping water behind her isn’t the Atlantic, it’s Dawson’s Creek. Ironically, Oscar-nominee Michelle Williams probably would have nailed it. Liv Tyler, who was originally cast in the role, may have fared better as well.

Based on Galt Niederhoffer’s second novel, The Romantics is the tale of long lost friends, now in their late 20s, reconnecting from new vantage points after post-college life and relationships have handed each a unique set of ups and downs. At the center of the conflict is Josh Duhamel’s Tom, who chickened out of his wildly off-and-on relationship with Holmes’ Laura, only to propose to Laura’s more prim and composed, if occasionally haughty, best friend Lila, played by Anna Paquin. These eight pals reconvene at Lila’s parent’s lavish summer retreat for the wedding, giving the entire film an idyllic Martha’s Vineyard blue bloods on vacation chic, not unlike the trappings seen in Margot at the Wedding or Dan in Real Life.

Though the narrative is slight, the ensemble cast provides a few nice moments as they split up in pairs—Clue-style—and search for Tom who goes missing after an awkward rehearsal dinner. We get Elijah Wood as a freewheeling goof, Malin Ackerman as a sarcastic B-movie actress, and Adam Brody as the surprisingly pliable nice guy of the group. But it is Humbolt County star Jeremy Strong, after making a powerful turn in last year’s underrated The Messenger, who steals every scene he’s in with the funniest, most telling lines in the film. His is the only character you don’t see coming from a mile away.

And so as his friends cavort in the night, Tom hides out, contemplates his future, and confronts both Laura and Lila about his terribly conflicted heart. Should he choose the rich boring girl, or the ravishing muse? Should he play it safe or go for broke?

The next day, a soundtracked drumline plays like a firing squad as Tom awaits his bride, Lila. It’s a fairly gripping moment, especially with Laura standing there in his eye line as Lila’s maid of honor, and a nice vulnerable break from more traditional nuptial-nixing movies. But this climax is wasted on a truncated denouement, and the entire project feels like a decent student film with an indie-credible cast. That said, this is author Niederhoffer’s first feature directorial effort since 1998. It’s not that The Romantics is offensively bad or even boring, just inconsequential. It’s attempt to fashion The Big Chill for a new era falls far short and Jonathan Demme and Anne Hathaway already made a far better film in this milieu with 2008’s Rachel Getting Married.