Getting over it

Some people manage to face and ultimately conquer even the deepest fears. Therapists say the key is taking gradual, patient steps to ponder, examine and ultimately confront fear. And in some cases, people overcome them without professional help.

Jumping right in

Staci Anderson is a master swimmer, but there was a time when she was petrified of even setting foot in the pool.

As she tells it, it was her children who eventually helped her overcome her fear.

“I never did learn to swim as a child. I would play in the water, but I was never even able to put my head under water. I always did want to swim.

“When we went to Disney World on our one-year anniversary, we got on one of the water rides. I came down the slide, and I told my husband, ‘I’m drowning. I’m drowning.’ He told me, ‘Just stand up.’”

About six years ago, Anderson’s 4-year-old daughter Alex started swimming at Crawfish Aquatics. “I decided how important it was not to be afraid of the water. About two years ago, I decided to take private lessons. I encouraged my sister to come, because she was still afraid. I got her to come one day, but (she) never came back.

“I came for my lesson, and (the instructor) said, ‘Get in the water and show me what you can do.’ I’m like, what do you mean? I told her, ‘I don’t swim. I’m even afraid to put my head under this water.’ I finally did put my head under the water and opened my eyes. I realized everything was going to be OK.

By the end of that lesson, I was doing a basic stroke. But I was struggling and still kind of afraid. It took me a couple of weeks to get comfortable. When I got into the deep water, where I couldn’t stand up, I got a little scared. She told me to slow down and relax and take a few deep breaths.

“I was able to overcome. I trained for a triathlon and competed in RocketChix. I got in the masters programs (at Crawfish) and started swimming with them.”

Anderson has been swimming competitively for a year now.

“I still haven’t done the open-water swim,” she says, “where you swim the lake.”

Smiling in the face of fear

By any measure, Jacqui Vines is a successful, influential executive. She is Cox Communications’ senior vice president and general manager for Louisiana operations, responsible for thousands of employees and hundreds of thousands of customers. She’s known for her positive, polished demeanor and her warm, engaging smile. But many who know her well have no idea the emotional and psychological price she’s paid for those pearly whites.

For Vines, visting the dentist is an exercise in disorienting terror.

“I literally can get lost psychologically going to the dentist,” she says. “What I have to do is pray before I go, and honestly, the fear is so great there are times that I’ve literally gotten lost on the way. I’ll forget the streets where I need to turn,” Vines says.

Still, she visits the dentist regularly, and she’s quick to defend him. “I’ve got the greatest dentist in the world in Dr. [Henry] Manning.”

Her fear started long before she ever moved to Baton Rouge.

“Being a foster child, I didn’t go to the dentist until I was 15,” she recalls. “As a ward of the state you’re somewhat invisible. When I finally went there was a lot of work to be done, so I was going every month or so for almost a year. Honestly, I think that’s where it started. The drilling, hearing the drilling. And the probing. I don’t like that pick, probe thing they use.”

To overcome her fear she follows a ritual of sorts.

First of all, her assistant is under instructions not to even tell her about scheduled appointments until the last possible moment.

Once zero hour arrives, she prays, meditates, practices deep breathing and brings her iPod to drown out the drill.

“They give me [nitrous oxide] gas, and I squeeze a ball to relieve some stress. If they have to do major work they give me medication beforehand.”

She even kept her deep fear from Dr. Manning until one day, when she became overcome with anxiety as he worked, a lone tear rolled down her cheek. He stopped and asked her if she was in pain, and she told him there was no pain, just fear.

From that day on Manning and his staff have been sensitive and attentive to her anxieties, she says. “Everyone there knows: gentle all the way, that works for me,” she says. “He has never hurt me, and my (previous) dentist in San Diego never hurt me. It’s just that my very early experience was so ingrained psychologically.”

Has all the anxiety been worth it? You bet, she says.

“My mother lost all of her teeth at 50, and she looked like an old, old lady and she wore dentures,” Vines says. “I remember saying, ‘I’m not going to let that happen to me.’”

“People comment on my smile all the time,” she says. “If you only knew.”