Don’t scream this Halloween

In theaters Wednesday: This is It

In theaters Friday: The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day, Gentlemen Broncos, House of the Devil

New on DVD/Blu-Ray: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Orphan, Whatever Works

First off, for complete disclosure, I should tell you that I’ve never been a horror film connoisseur. Growing up, lots of kids in my neighborhood were more fanatical for movies about with ghosts, ghouls and goblins than I was. Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula played repeatedly at one friend’s place, and not just Halloween night, either, when his brothers and family put on their own, open-to-the-public haunted house.

Horror film buffs probably consider me ignorant of the genre. But I like to think of myself as merely picky. Regardless, this year I’ve chosen to embrace my lack of love for horror movies and came up with a list of great non-horror flicks to watch this weekend. Now, barring one, each of these may contain a fright or two, but overall their wit, wisdom or sheer buffoonery win out. Grab some candy and popcorn and get ready to do everything but scream your head off on Halloween.

5. Edward ScissorhandsOn the surface it’s a freak show, but Tim Burton’s follow-up to 1989’s Batman was actually a sly satire on society, and one that is at turns hilarious and heartbreaking. Jonny Depp’s breakout performance is so left-field, it is beyond the bleachers, and Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Alan Arkin round out a fantastic cast. As for the fright factor, you can’t deny that the overly sterile, candy-colored suburbs are just as horrific as Edward’s gloomy, gothic castle.

4. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie BrownAnother classic television special from Peanuts creator Charles Schultz, this Halloween-themed episode first aired in 1966. Soon after the broadcast young fans of the series inundated Schultz with mailed-in candy c/o Charlie Brown after watching the show’s downtrodden star receive only a rock for Halloween. Though not as well known as A Charlie Brown Christmas, Great Pumpkin shows the Peanuts gang in an autumnal fantasia of celebration and on the precipice of growing up. Linus, like Charlie before him, receives valuable lessons about hope and disappointment, and also the strong bonds of family with older sister Lucy coming to his aid.

3. The Nightmare Before Christmas“Always winter and never Christmas” is a sentiment that doesn’t sit well with C.S. Lewis or Tim Burton, apparently. Animated with eclectic and whimsical stop-motion by Henry Selick, Burton’s mesmerizing fairytale stars Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, who discovers Christmas Town and attempts to replicate its cheer in his own kingdom even when his subjects don’t fully grasp the concept. With enough witty musical numbers, visual gags and eye-popping characters, this is the one film about unity and goodwill that wouldn’t be out of place on both Halloween and Christmas Eve.

2. Evil Dead IISpider-man director Sam Raimi’s 1987 sequel is the perfect blend of chills and chuckles. Cult hero Bruce Campbell stars as Ash, a guy who just wanted to spend some quality time with his girlfriend at a getaway cabin, when all hell breaks loose, literally. After his girl becomes a zombie, Ash must ward off a horde of demons with only a chainsaw, a shotgun and his nearly-fried wits. Put your brain on pause for this one. Just sit back and enjoy the goofy schlock, and as the poster promises, “Kiss your nerves goodbye!”

1. Shadow of the VampireSorry, Daniel Day-Lewis, but method actors are funny. This 2000 dramedy attempts to answer the obvious question: What if Max Schrek’s celebrated performance in F.W. Murnau’s 1922 classic Nosfuratu was so hauntingly realistic not because of his commitment to the role, but because he was in fact a vampire. John Malkhovich plays Murnau, and Willem Dafoe is Schrek as they are locked in a battle of creative differences over the role with Murnau becoming increasingly OCD and Schrek, as an actual undead actor, proving even more difficult to deal with than the living kind. Look at Curb Your Enthusiasm, 30 Rock, even Mad Men, and it’s easy to see that meta-storytelling is all the rage today. With plenty of footage from Nosfuratu, real life characters reimagined and detailed insights into the making of a classic with a twisted spin, Shadow of the Vampire is a modern Halloween film worth watching.