225BatonRouge.com

I know summer means re-runs, but I thought that was just for television. Not that this summer at the movies won’t be without some big thrills, but really, audiences have seen a lot of this before. That being said, look for the industry to rebound based on the big box office tabs these crowd-pleasers are sure to rack up in the next few months.

Spider-Man 3 MAY 4

Sandman. Venom. The New Goblin. Summer starts here with the third film in director Sam Raimi’s vision of the Spider-Man universe, a piece that reinforces the old adage, “pride comes before the fall.” Just when Tobey Maguire’s Peter Parker has won the heart of Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane, and earned acceptance from the general populace he has protected for so long, he is forced to battle his own dark desire for revenge and unlimited power, not to mention three, count ’em three, adversaries. All right, go get ’em, tiger.

Shrek the Third MAY 18

Word is Cameron Diaz insisted her then-boy toy Justin Timberlake be handed a role in this second Shrek sequel. She might as well have insisted on the series jumping the shark. But all is not lost, John Cleese and Eddie Murphy always provide a few cheeky laughs for those of us over 10. And really, Shrek is for the kids anyway. They can’t get enough of jolly green ogres.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End MAY 25

Last time we saw the inimitable Capt. Jack Sparrow, he was flossing the razor teeth of an ill-tempered sea monster. So just how does he survive? And don’t say, “Because I’m Cap’m Jack Sparrow, mate!” We want answers. Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom set sail off the edge of the map for one final misadventure. Rumor has it a major character dies this time. Bet it won’t be Knightly. Somebody’s got to get the girl, and it’s not going to be the sea.

Knocked Up JUNE 1

The guys who brought you The 40 Year-old Virgin have taken the same unapologetic, adult-by-way-of-eighth-grade humor and turned it into a romantic comedy about unplanned pregnancy with Grey’s Anatomy star Katherine Heigl and Virgin scene-stealer Seth Rogan. Like The Break-Up before it, Knocked Up is part of a new genre of testosterone-tainted chick flicks that will have boyfriends not only cheerfully tagging along to the theater on Friday nights, but going early to pick up the tickets, too.

Transformers JULY 6

Earth must be the Superdome of planets. Why else would dueling alien races the Autobots and the Decepticons choose our house to settle their long-standing differences? Josh Duhamel, Megan Fox and Shia LeBeouf are the humanoids on hand for the battle, but when Megatron and Optimus Prime are pummeling each other and anything in their paths, does it even matter? If you’re a guy born between 1975 and 1985 and this live action/CGI version of Transformers doesn’t have you even the least bit curious, well, you were probably more of an outside kid.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix JULY 13

This is author J.K. Rowling’s The Empire Strikes Back as the Potter series is in all-out “things will get worse before they get better” mode. This round everything pretty much goes to pot for poor Harry. No one believes his warnings about the return of the dark wizard Lord Voldemort, his classmates all laugh at him, and on top of that an oppressive bureaucratic witch (the literal kind) takes over Hogwarts. Ah, high school.

The Simpsons Movie JULY 27

This might be the first epic film with a big pink donut on the poster. Of course after nearly 20 years on Fox, it would’ve been ridiculously callous and shallow to release a Simpsons feature film that was essentially a 90-minute version of the TV series. So the over-the-top melodrama of the trailer feels just right, or as Montgomery Burns would say: “Ehhh-xcellent.”

The Bourne Ultimatum AUG. 3

If you’re allergic to steady-cam shots, this is the action movie for you. Matt Damon returns as memory-challenged super assassin Jason Bourne for a third go-round of whiplash fight scenes and “Why do I know 12 permutations of tae kwon do?” moments. This time Bourne tries to discover more about himself other than his real name while evading government agents after a Moscow shootout. Directed by Paul Greengrass, a 2007 Oscar nominee for United 93.