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For most of my life I've had no interest in entertaining the thought of exercising. For any reason. But here lately, I'm out of breath walking up the stairs, and I generally feel like a beached whale for most of the day. For me, getting in shape is less about health and more about the fact that I've made a large investment in clothing, and I need to be able to continue wearing it to get my money's worth. So if you’ve seen me lately, you’ve seen that I only wear dresses and skirts. That’s my new plan from here on out until I can wear the pants in my closet again without struggling to zip them. Bring on the moo-moos.

But I digress.

In addition to regular exercising, I’m also pretty uninterested in anything crunchy such as granola that's going to put me in touch with my inner-self.

With my stress levels recently breaking through the proverbial roof, and the fact I can’t wear non-elastic pants anymore, it was time to do something. So I made a visit with an equally out of shape friend to Lotus, a new yoga place in Towne Center. I figured I might as well give it a shot.

I've always been intrigued by the idea of yoga, mostly because there is no opportunity for anyone to make fun of me for running like a girl or not being able to hit or catch a ball. This past Saturday, as well as Saturday September 8, the yoga classes are free all day. And oh, do I love free stuff.

The Lotus studio is very cool and modern, not new agey at all. I felt instantly at ease. There was hot tea and some type of baked goody that resembled a brownie, but was in fact far from brownie-like when I popped it in my mouth. Bran maybe, but not deadly. Lesson learned: I’m going to ask before I eat next time.

I rented a mat, and went into the dimly lit studio and readied myself for Yanni and personal affirmations. To my surprise and delight, the instructor had a remarkably soothing voice, and spoke more about what to focus on to contort myself into the poses. She even mentioned that most really flexible people get less out of the experience because they have to work much harder, which I was relieved to hear. I can’t do a cartwheel, so flexibility and balance have never been my strengths.

Everything was much easier than I expected, except for keeping my sweating feet in place while trying to balance on one foot. I even learned that there is a name for the way I stand in the kitchen while cooking or doing dishes—the tree pose. But my family has always referred to it as “the flamingo”.

I left feeling better than I’ve felt in a long time, even though I woke up sore the next day.

While the music was Yanni-like, and there were some affirmations thrown around, I almost didn’t notice. There were only a couple times where I thought to myself, “resist the urge to laugh, resist the urge to laugh,” but that’s mostly because of my wonderful cynical charm. But overall, it was a good experience I would recommend. I definitely plan to attend regularly, if for no reason other than perfecting my kitchen/tree pose.