March 8, 2006
By Jeff Roedel
At a press conference for his new movie 16 Blocks, Die Hard star Bruce Willis launched into a tirade about Colombian drug trafficking and strongly suggested that the we go Rumsfeld on the South American country by “doing whatever it takes” to stop the import of cocaine into the U.S.
I expect this kind of talk from Tom Cruise —there isn’t much Cruise could do at this point to surprise us, even ripping off his face like a Mission:Impossible mask and declaring he’s been a woman since Far And Away would not make us bat an eye.
But Colombian President Alvaro Uribe is batting his eyes at Willis' outburst. He has called Willis’ comments “ignorant.” I’m not sure Uribe has a right to be mad here. Saying Colombia makes lots of cocaine is like saying Paris Hilton sleeps with lots of people. It’s a euphemism. And everybody loves a big fat euphemism. Read all about the impending international incident here.
Comments
Posted by RedStuck on March 10 at 9:48 a.m.
Poor, poor Bruce. It was only a matter of time... All that repressed Ashton-anger is FINALLY bubbling up. Let's get him into a Group with nice wicker furniture and lots of Affirmation.
Posted by gwhand on March 10 at 12:58 p.m.
If we Americans would stop using the Cocaine Colombia would stop producing it and importing it, its simply supply and demand. Our fellow countrymen demand it and Colombians supply it. Look into the drug rates of Colombian citizens and decide for yourself who the users are.
Posted by RedStuck on March 10 at 1:59 p.m.
I'm all about Capitalism, so sure there's a supply and demand component. However, the provision of (patently illegal) product doesn't negate the culpability of Columbian traffickers in the American drug crisis.
What's most important to remember is that the possibility exists that Bruce would make "The Kid: Part 2" or that Hollywood might do a "Moonlighting" movie. Or sicker still, a comedic Broadway revue entitled "12 Monkeys: Monkey Business"
To that, I 'just say no'!
Posted by thebrittster on March 17 at 12:24 p.m.
1. We somehow stop Columbia from importing cocaine.
2. Columbia secretly strikes a deal with the Coca-Cola Company to sneak cocaine back into their recipe.
3. Coca-Cola does so, but it is later discovered.
4. Coca-Cola gets in lots of trouble and is prosecuted by the government.
5. Having greatly increased their profits by selling coke-laced-Coke, Coca-Cola puts a ga-gillion lawyers on the case, lobbying and arguing for the legalization of cocaine.
6. Coke wins, and cocaine is legalized in America and, consequently, the rest of the world.
7. Because of their namesake, Coca-Cola earns the rights to all cocaine production and distribution in the world, becoming the sole dealer of cocaine, Coca-Cola, AND all cocaine related products worldwide.
8. All the while, the Columbian cocaine industry and the Coca-Cola Company are still in cahoots, and have been sharing profits. The two powers merge to create the largest, most powerful corporation in the world.
9. Because Columbians love Die Hard movies, Columbians take over Hollywood and make Die Hard sequels, forever.
Bruce Willis. Die Hard.
It's all a plot to make more Bruce Willis movies.
And to get him free coke.
And free Coke.
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