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I’ve never won the lottery. I think the last thing I won luck-wise was a free concert ticket only to have the band cancel. YAY. So I can’t really imagine what it feels like to hold one of those HUGE checks people get when they win big. Nevertheless, I can still ask the Louisiana Lottery Corp. about their big honkin checks. And then the fantasizing can commence. So if I disappear from work for a while after writing this, you’ll have to excuse me. I’ll be at home caressing a beach towel pretending it’s a big check.

Question: Just how big are the Louisiana Lottery’s big checks?

Answer: About 400 times the size of a regular check.

Technically, they’re 16x32 inches, or 1.3x 2.6 feet. So what is that? Maybe toddler-size? Either way, you can’t put it in an ATM. (Nor has Kimberly Chopin with the Lottery ever had anyone ask or complain that the bank wouldn’t accept it.)

The publicity checks are made of very lightweight foam sandwiched between two layers of plastic-coated, water-resistant cardboard. One check, costing $50, is made for each publicity go-around. When the winner will be determined onsite somewhere, stickers are made with all the finalists’ names and the appropriate one is stuck to the check. When winners come into the office to claim their prize, the staffer with the best handwriting has the task of filling in the amount. Chopin points out the scope of this task: “Do you know how difficult it is to write out the amount ‘one million, four-hundred twenty-eight thousand, three-hundred fifty-two dollars and 42/100’ without running out of space?”

And though the checks have a water-resistant coating, it’s been proven they’re not entirely waterproof. “After Hurricane Katrina, we had a big winner from the New Orleans area show up at headquarters asking if he could have a “replacement” publicity check for the one he lost in the storm,” says Chopin. “Of course, we obliged.”

Thanks to Kimberly Chopin, communications manager at the Louisiana Lottery Corp. for answering these questions of grand proportions.