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Are you in the market for an elephant? Nope? Neither am I. Not a REAL elephant, at least. Lord knows what I’d do with one of those. I could paint it like Banksy. I could take it to New Orleans to help plow down some houses. Or I could challenge it to a game of Mastermind. But alas, the only elephants I’ve ever purchased have been beers. And boyohboyohboy, they were delicious! Anyway, let’s get back to reality. This week we’re talking about BREC’s Baton Rouge Zoo and the kind of elephant shopping happening there. If you have an interesting question about something Baton Rouge related, send it to me here.

Question: What’s with those Elephant Oasis commercials I keep seeing on TV?

Answer: Shopping.

We’re talking the “hunting” kind of shopping here, not the “buying” kind of shopping. And stop your mind right there. I’m not talking about hunting elephants. No sir. Fat chance. So don’t put those words in my mouth. The Elephant Oasis Project is a campaign presented by WAFB, All Star Automotive Group and Friends of the Baton Rouge Zoo in cooperation with BREC to raise a target goal of $175,000 for an addition to the zoo’s elephant exhibit. The addition is intended for humans, not elephants. It will feature a shaded pavilion, elephant conservation graphics, an interactive video kiosk, a brick courtyard, a baby elephant sculpture, a bust of Buckskin Bill, misting fans and more. “The elephants already have their shade, but our visitors don’t,” says Mary Schoen, director of marketing and development. So in essence, the commercials are shopping and hunting for donations. (Pardon my weak stretching of words this week.)

Judy and Bozie, the zoo’s two female Asian elephants, already have $800,000 in renovations headed their way thanks to the BREC tax election. The Elephant Oasis Project is separate and is not stealing from elephants to give to humans. (I felt the enraged e-mails forming, but silence them. That’s not the case.) “The whole point behind the Oasis is education,” Schoen says. “We wanted to create a place where people can come and connect with elephants and learn about their plight in the wild.” The Elephant Oasis Project is also connecting generations around the Baton Rouge area through memories of WAFB’s personality, “Buckskin” Bill Black, who helped make the dream of a Baton Rouge Zoo a reality through his old TV shows, and a “Penny” drive. In keeping with the original concept, drives are being held at various All Star Automotive locations as well as at WAFB Studios. For a full list of ways you can help, click here.

WAFB reports as of Dec. 4, a total of $2,159.77 has been deposited into the Elephant Oasis Account at Regions Bank. So start hunting around your car, your couch cushions, your granddad’s beard, whatever. Hell. I’ll even give up some elephant beer to help out. Yes, my friends, that’s sacrifice.

Many peanuts of thanks to Mary Schoen at the Baton Rouge Zoo for the elephantine amount of information she provided.