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In case you missed last week’s preliminary installment of Marissa Explains It All, here’s a quick recap. If you know the drill, scroll on down to this week’s wisdom.

Marissa Explains It All is 225’s complimentary answering service. You ask me something related to local topics and I find the answer. That’s easier than jumping rope blindfolded. It’s even easier than spelling Tchoupitoulas. Don’t ask me about relationships, best places to dine or personal health issues. You don’t want my answers on that subjective stuff. Trust me. The last guy who took my advice ended up covered in Bulgarian yogurt waiting for a bus. But want to know about the Robinson Brothers’ flag? The colored lights on the Shaw Group building? The USS KIDD’s washing habits? I can handle that. Those answers can be found in last week’s installment. Let’s get on with this week. And remember folks; I’m doing all this work for you! So ask away. Click here to submit your questions. Shoot. Shoot. Bang. Bang.

Question: Who are Kristen and Josh from the Woman’s Hospital ad campaign?

Answer: Paid professionals.

Call them actors. Call them business facilitators. You might as well call them Miss Spoon and Conch Shell because they’re not Kristen or Josh. They’re paid actors from Dallas. Sorry if I’ve deflated your bliss bubble, but there’s even a disclaimer on Woman’s Hospital’s Web site saying they’re fictitious. Woman’s Hospital was looking for a way to target tech-savvy generations and to present a typical OB journey. Their creative services department pitched the idea for a campaign that would include interactivity with online voting, videos, blogs, e-mail updates and experience sharing. Those lured by commercials and billboards seeking information on Kristen and Josh visit womans.org and create a “My Woman’s” account. This account allows Woman’s Hospital to have a dialogue with the community to see which programs and services are of interest. Before the campaign started, 40 people a week registered for an account. Now it’s up to 40 a day. The end of the three-month pregnancy/campaign will coincide with the hospital’s Baby Grand fair Nov. 4. Kristen won’t make an appearance at the event, but she will “give birth” shortly thereafter to the “twins.” Want your babies to be in the commercial? Sorry, it’s not possible. The babies have already been cast, but you can cast a vote to name the fake babies at womans.org. Thanks to Jodi Conachen at Woman’s Hospital for the details of Baton Rouge’s latest innovative advertising arrival.

Question: How much green sauce does Ninfa’s use a day?

Answer: 80 pints.

That’s a lot of sauce. Made fresh daily from boiled green tomatoes, sour cream, avocados, cilantro, jalapeno peppers, garlic and salt, Ninfa’s creates roughly 70 gallons of green sauce a week. And that no-holds barred sour cream? They use around 250 pounds per week, which nears 22,000 grams of fat. For their original Ninfarita, Ninfa’s orders 20 cases of tequila weekly. The frozen Ninfaritas are more popular than their on the rocks counterparts. Though the frozen versions come out of a margarita machine, they’re made by hand and simply stored in the machine. During the night, the machines get a break until the rotation begins again the next morning. Please enjoy your mental hold music while I crunch some numbers. Okay. I’m back. If Ninfa’s opened Oct. 4, 1993, that’s a total of 403,120 pints of green sauce. Yes that’s a sweeping number, but I did do some calculations. I know you’re thinking, “Boy, I’d like to swim in that.” Well, you could. That’s enough to fill two average-sized 25,000-gallon swimming pools. As Raising Cane’s is fond of saying, go get sauced! And thanks to Hernando J. Cuellar at Ninfa’s for making me extremely hungry.

Got questions? I can get answers. Email me at marissa@225BatonRouge.com.