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Welcome to the preliminary installment of Marissa Explains It All. Think of it as 225’s complimentary answering service.

It’s like a weekly version of What’s Up With That, except you supply the questions and I do the dirty work. I want to help you sleep at night by answering life’s nagging little questions, like “Exactly how giant is the Robinson Brothers’ giant American flag?” and “How often does the USS KIDD get washed?” or “Who changes those multi-colored lights on top of the Shaw building?” I can’t help you out with issues like: why aliens choose to talk to you (because you’re awesome), why your relationships fail (it’s not you), where that rash came from (see related relationship question), or who in Baton Rouge has the best burgers (I don’t eat furry things).

I will, however, answer intriguing questions related to local topics. I also will use a bore filter, so apologies in advance if your question isn’t answered. I'll try not to bore you with my writing if you try not to bore me with your questions. It’ll be golden.

So you’re asking yourself, who died and gave me all the answers?

Nobody. I never claimed Mensa status, but I enjoy and am fairly adept at gathering information. That’s why I studied journalism, and this bloggity blog is the ultimate in civic journalism. In July, I asked Slate’s Explainer, Daniel Engber, how he got his job. His response? “I did a freelance piece for Slate and then when the Explainer job opened up I was offered the chance to try out for it…” So who died and gave me all the answers? Nobody. In August, I started working for Business Report and 225, and I was offered the chance to share my ideas with 225. My editor approved my idea, so here we are. But if it makes you feel any better, I have a bachelor’s in mass communication from LSU and have won a handful of journalism awards. My name’s Marissa Frayer. Google away. Meantime, I’ll get things started with a few questions I’ve asked myself.

Question: Exactly how giant is the Robinson brothers’ giant American flag?

Answer: Bigger than your bathroom.

For starters, there are two flags: one started flying at Robinson Brothers’ Lincoln Mercury in 1981, and the other at Robinson Brothers’ Ford last January. They’re both 30 feet by 60 feet. To chew that down to a swallowing size, that’s basically six bathtubs by twelve bathtubs. The flags come from a Texas supplier and are typically replaced three times a year. Each flag is taken down only when it needs to be replaced or when it is loaned to civic groups or schools. Denise Pittman, controller at Robinson Brothers, says after 9/11 the flag was loaned out frequently for football games and Brooks and Dunn even borrowed it as a concert backdrop. At Robinson Brothers’ Ford, the flag was most recently at half-staff to honor fallen Baton Rouge Police Department motorcycle officer, Cpl. Chris Metternich, whose funeral procession passed the dealership. Pittman says Robinson Brothers’ hasn’t toyed with idea of flying the state flag. “We’ll probably just stick to the American flag,” she says. Kudos to Robinson Brothers’ controller Denise Pittman for her banner wisdom.

Question: How often does the USS KIDD get washed?

Answer: It depends on the moon and the kids.

Because of tides, Baton Rouge’s stretch of the Mississippi River receives a seasonal rise and fall of 40 feet per year. Between February and July the USS KIDD sits in water, but the ship is high and dry in its cradle the rest of the time. While the KIDD’s in a cradle, workers wash her with a pressure washer and brushes to remove silt from her hull. She’ll receive additional exterior scrubbings should she find herself dirty again. For example, during the River Center’s expansion, excess dust found a home on the KIDD. Workers used a tad of Dawn dishwashing liquid to help remove the remnants. “It’s just like you were doing a carwash,” says USS KIDD administrative assistant Tim NesSmith.

Because of kids’ overnight camping trips aboard the KIDD, the main deck is cleaned more often than the hull. Overnight campers eat dinner before boarding, but snack themselves sleepy until morning. After any overnight stay, workers use fire hoses to flush the deck free of crumbs and leftovers to avoid insects and rats. Should they find any stray kids, they’re returned home ASAP. NesSmith says the ship doesn’t have any creepy crawler squatters and they don’t want any. Also, if any renovation is being done on the KIDD, workers sweep and mop any messes.

And what of barnacles? Though barnacle is a mighty word⎯say it as pirate like as possible⎯the barnacle typically has no place in fresh water. Zebra mussels do like to snuggle on ships, but the KIDD so far is zebra-mussel free. Thanks to USS KIDD administrative assistant Tim NesSmith for sharing his expertise.

Question: Who changes the colored lights on top of the Shaw building?

Answer: A series of zeros and ones.

John Lambert, the senior building engineer for Wampold Companies, decides what colors to show and when to colorize them. From a computer in his office, Lambert changes the limitless colors. “Each light bulb has a bajillion colors in it,” he says. For LSU football season and major holidays, basic color schemes are projected upwards and against the building. As part of the original building design, Wampold Companies suggested the lights so motorists would notice the building from Interstate 12. The Shaw Group’s 12-story Essen Lane headquarters was finished in 2002 to the tune of $40.5 million. Thanks to Wampold Companies’ John Lambert, senior building engineer, for the enlightenment.

Got questions? I can get answers. Email me at marissa@225BatonRouge.com.