225BatonRouge.com - Blogs

Don’t get me wrong—I love to hear the word “Mom” and feel like I am needed by my family, but a little room to breath is good. This is the first summer in 7 years I’ve been able to sit by the pool and read a book! The main reason for that is my children are young. The other reason, which I just learned this summer, is that I underestimated their abilities—everything from helping around the house, playing without me, making decisions, to speaking up for themselves.

As school was ending I became overwhelmed at the thought of constantly entertaining my children, so I decided to take a new approach…one that encourages a little independence. I think it’s been a big success, and it’s been so rewarding for my husband and me to see the girls grow in confidence, maturity, and respect for each other. Her are a few tips that I have tried and found to be winners for my family:

• Teach want versus need – Did you know more teenagers in our country have cell phones than savings accounts? Don’t be scared to say “we can’t afford that” or “you need to save money to buy it yourself.” It’s amazing how quickly kids decide not to make the purchase if it’s coming out of their own wallet. It is also good to set financial goals as a family and work together to reach them. For example, have a garage sale to earn money for a trampoline or weekend trip.

• Plan, shop, and prepare meals together – Grocery stores and dinner preparations have been so much easier since the children became involved in the details. Any child over 2 can help decide what the family should cook for the week, so have them involved in making the grocery list. Let your children have a small list of items that they are responsible for finding and placing in the cart and another can have a calculator to reinforce the concept of money and budgeting. I love shopping at Matherne’s with the girls because of the pint sized grocery carts on hand.

• Have family chores – This has been so helpful over the summer not only in getting the house work accomplished, but in boosting confidence and giving me an opportunity to spend time with each child teaching specific tasks. For example, my 3-year-old brushes the dogs and helps me water the plants.

• Reward good behavior – We have fun Friday at our house where we reward ourselves with a special outing or treat if all of our chores have been completed for the week and everyone’s behavior was good. I often remind myself of a favorite quote when I try to motivate the children, it says “Tell children what to do far more than you tell them what not to do. And then praise them for what they do, instead of criticizing them for what they don’t do.”

Gaining independence is a life-long journey, but I am so glad we started taking some baby steps this summer.