Wednesday was not a good day for the –ies at Silver Dollar Pawn. For starters, their very first guest, Dennis, brings in three cases of “legal white lightning,” legal “pharmaceutical” liquor from the prohibition. The alcohol belonged to his great-grandfather, and he hopes to cash it in for a savings bond for his six-year-old daughter, like a present from her great-grandfather. That sounds about right. After acting excited about the acquisition and going into way too much exposition on the history of prohibition and the high quality of these bottles, Jimmie ultimately turns it down. His lame excuse? He doesn't have a liquor license and he's afraid of cheating the federal government. That's right. Jimmie's the world's only honest pawn broker.
There was no new episode of Cajun Pawn Stars this week, but that doesn't mean we don't have a backlog of episodes to sift through. Which I did. (Newsflash: Johnnie is NOT Jimmie's son, but rather is much younger brother.) Rather than get really depressed about the desperation of some of these people or how many guns exchange hands, I thought I'd look on the bright side—surely there is one.
You know how sometimes the Kardashians talk about how busy they are filming their reality shows, but their shows are just supposed to be about their real lives, so how much busier could they really be? And then you realize the whole thing is just a contrivance anyway because are they really all that wacky enough to rent their mom a chimp named Suzyto satisfy her desire for another baby?
Liz and Kristi—On the one hand, they tagged out, and they did it all without a man's help. On the other, they only had 200 or so tags to fill in the first place, and aren't we past the point of giving women a handicap when competing with men? Verdict: Gator Bait
Our next stop down the timey wimey wormhole (gator hole?) is "Man Down." Now, there are a few possible explanations of this episode's title: 1.) Tommy's reclining at “Fat Cat's” resort, 2.) a misdirected foreshadowing of RJ's dwindling endurance as he races to become king, 3.) Troy's continued quest to outshine RJ in every realm by filling tags for the deceased Mr. Julius so his family won't starve, or 4.) the last episode for the since-dearly-departed Mitchell Guist. I'm going to go with the last one, even though no mention is made of his passing in the episode itself.
Welcome back to the Swamp, People! (Get it?) Sorry I've been away these past few weeks, but not to worry—if you're anything like me, you've caught a mini-marathon in preparation for last night's season finale, and you're ready to nail these gators to the wall. Go ahead and hop in your airboat time machine and travel back to “King of the Swamp”.
Well, there’s only five days left in alligator season, and the big concern on everyone’s mind is “tagging out,” adding to the romance of the hunt. Not everyone finds the rain romantic, though. Take, for instance, RJ and Jay Paul. They like to troll around in an airboat to get their gators, but the rain and the gale-force winds make it nearly impossible for them to make much progress.
Joe and Tommy were having a normal day, trolling the swamp, checking their lines, just bonding as stepfather and stepson while earning an honest living. All they wanted was to find a few alligators and shoot them and sell their corpses. But then Jake had to go and ruin everything. Having discovered a new spot, Joe and Tommy set out at the beginning of the episode, full of hopes, dreams, and bullets.
Amy Weiner
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Tanking it
Wednesday was not a good day for the –ies at Silver Dollar Pawn. For starters, their very first guest, Dennis, brings in three cases of “legal white lightning,” legal “pharmaceutical” liquor from the prohibition. The alcohol belonged to his great-grandfather, and he hopes to cash it in for a savings bond for his six-year-old daughter, like a present from her great-grandfather. That sounds about right. After acting excited about the acquisition and going into way too much exposition on the history of prohibition and the high quality of these bottles, Jimmie ultimately turns it down. His lame excuse? He doesn't have a liquor license and he's afraid of cheating the federal government. That's right. Jimmie's the world's only honest pawn broker.
For Whom the Bell Tolls
The Dark Knight
There was no new episode of Cajun Pawn Stars this week, but that doesn't mean we don't have a backlog of episodes to sift through. Which I did. (Newsflash: Johnnie is NOT Jimmie's son, but rather is much younger brother.) Rather than get really depressed about the desperation of some of these people or how many guns exchange hands, I thought I'd look on the bright side—surely there is one.
Keeping up with the Kajun Pawn Stars
You know how sometimes the Kardashians talk about how busy they are filming their reality shows, but their shows are just supposed to be about their real lives, so how much busier could they really be? And then you realize the whole thing is just a contrivance anyway because are they really all that wacky enough to rent their mom a chimp named Suzyto satisfy her desire for another baby?
Swamp People Season Wrap
Liz and Kristi—On the one hand, they tagged out, and they did it all without a man's help. On the other, they only had 200 or so tags to fill in the first place, and aren't we past the point of giving women a handicap when competing with men? Verdict: Gator Bait
Farewell, Mitchell
Our next stop down the timey wimey wormhole (gator hole?) is "Man Down." Now, there are a few possible explanations of this episode's title: 1.) Tommy's reclining at “Fat Cat's” resort, 2.) a misdirected foreshadowing of RJ's dwindling endurance as he races to become king, 3.) Troy's continued quest to outshine RJ in every realm by filling tags for the deceased Mr. Julius so his family won't starve, or 4.) the last episode for the since-dearly-departed Mitchell Guist. I'm going to go with the last one, even though no mention is made of his passing in the episode itself.
Homecoming King of the Swamp
Welcome back to the Swamp, People! (Get it?) Sorry I've been away these past few weeks, but not to worry—if you're anything like me, you've caught a mini-marathon in preparation for last night's season finale, and you're ready to nail these gators to the wall. Go ahead and hop in your airboat time machine and travel back to “King of the Swamp”.
Tag, you're it
Well, there’s only five days left in alligator season, and the big concern on everyone’s mind is “tagging out,” adding to the romance of the hunt. Not everyone finds the rain romantic, though. Take, for instance, RJ and Jay Paul. They like to troll around in an airboat to get their gators, but the rain and the gale-force winds make it nearly impossible for them to make much progress.
Shake 'n Bake and Big Jake
Joe and Tommy were having a normal day, trolling the swamp, checking their lines, just bonding as stepfather and stepson while earning an honest living. All they wanted was to find a few alligators and shoot them and sell their corpses. But then Jake had to go and ruin everything. Having discovered a new spot, Joe and Tommy set out at the beginning of the episode, full of hopes, dreams, and bullets.
Swamp Justice
Swamp People through the Law & Order lens